Healing

Day 48 - #365MeditationChallenge

Two years ago (in March), I signed up for a one-year shamanic training program with my friend and teacher Sarah Salter-Kelly.  That first year was all about directly experiencing shamanistic practices; ceremony, rituals and rites, songs, prayers, elemental healing, dance, meditation, journey, breathwork, the creation of medicine tools and of course, working in circle.  As a community, we met four times throughout the course of the year (at each of the equinoxes and solstices).  

After the first weekend, I knew that my life was about to change quite drastically.  For one thing, I was inspired to begin a life of sobriety, which I have maintained ever since.  For those of you who knew me before, this was and is a pretty significant change in itself.  Sobriety proved to be just the beginning however, and over the past two years I have experienced many more changes along the way.   

I feel as though I am experiencing a literal metamorphosis into something (someone) different.  She even has a different name; Nahanni, and I truly feel as though I am becoming her, little by little, each day bringing me closer to fully embodying/embracing her.   

After the first year, a smaller group of us (6) decided to continue on with Sarah and learn how to integrate shamanism into our healing practices.  The past year's training has given me even more tools to use with my clients and I feel so grateful for that.   

 

Day 22 - #365MeditationChallenge

Wow.  Just... Wow. 

As you will see in tonight's video, I had an epic healing session tonight which changed my perspective on, well, everything.   

Driving home from dinner at my parents, I was very present as I listened to my 8-year-old sing is heart out from the back seat.  In that moment I was so frustrated and disappointed with myself that I was feeling the way I was feeling (God-Awful) when I know how much I have to be grateful for and joyful about.   

"I think I need to ask for some help", I thought to myself.   

"Yes", I thought, agreeing with myself.  "I need help".  Immediately my thoughts drifted to a friend of mine.  A coach that I met in the Martha Beck coaching program and now a dear friend.  We hadn't connected in quite a while, so I started to think about how and when I might reach out.  Ten minutes after I got home I got an out-of-the-blue message from... you guessed it: that same friend.  

"Oh my God" I texted her, "The Universe is LISTENING TO ME!"  (This is far from my first experience like this, but I can still get pretty stoked.  After all, miracles are just that: miraculous).   

A little later, after I got my son to bed, she was guiding me into a deep healing journey around one of my ancestors, the Divine Feminine, self-love and forgiveness.  It was beyond powerful and impossible to put into words.   

I am not exaggerating when I say that coaching is one of the tools that has literally saved my life, and it continues to Bless my life with amazing gifts.  I am SO GRATEFUL for the opportunity to be coached by such a genuine, loving, authentic soul and to be given the opportunity to coach and hold space for others.   

 

 

Day 16 - #365MeditationChallenge

I did a 20 minute meditation today and I spent the first 15 minutes with that "wall" I spoke about yesterday.  As I allude to in the video, I felt like one of those pantomimes putting my hands up and down this invisible wall in my consciousness.   

And then, all of a sudden I got a very clear vision of a bridge.  The bridge looked as though it had been blown up and I was standing on the edge of it looking down into an abyss.... just nothing.  I couldn't see over to the other side because it was all misty.   

I get it.   

All of a sudden I can see neuron cells in my brain making new pathways... to the unknown.  I have literally never been here before.  It is a new frontier.  It is a new way of thinking and being.  I am becoming.  

And holy CRAP does the notion of this make me excited.   

Lately I have been doing some reading about mental health and chronic conditions and decided that it is very likely that I literally have brain damage/trauma that has resulted in a whole host of undesirable symptoms (depression being first and foremost).  I am PASSIONATE about creating new brain circuits that are healthy and NOT of the variety that spin me into this old story of depression.  

I have been working on it for years and, although I do feel like I'm making progress overall, it's slow.   

It is a daily journey to re-write your programming.   

But the image of this bridge is exciting!  I feel like it means that, through meditation and the time that I am putting into this very deliberate, intentional box, I am finally going to create something new.   

This makes me feel PUMPED.