Meditation

Day 50 - #365MeditationChallenge

Happy day 50 - woo hoo!

Meditation practice proved to be an invaluable tool this weekend - helping me to "get through" some of the tougher aspects of the experience; restaurant food, hotel sleeping (or not sleeping in this case), and lots of back and forth driving.  Overall, it was a very full weekend!  

I feel so grateful to have had this time with Chephren though.  I love watching him play and interact with his teammates.  So wonderful and so worth it!

 

Day 47 - #365MeditationChallenge

The four-part soul retrieval process is complete and I am feeling more clear about the process itself and how it might impact my daily life.  My soul retrieval turned out to be all about denying my own needs when it looked like it might threaten any of my main attachment relationships.  In other words, I had a pattern of "staying put" when in my true heart of hearts, I have always wanted to spread my wings and fly.   

It will be interesting to see where this new knowledge and way of seeing takes me.  I really do feel ready to fly again... both literally and metaphorically. 

 

Day 46 - #365MeditationChallenge

Post fire ceremony portion of soul retrieval process.   

This week I not only had the opportunity to facilitate soul retrieval for a few other people, but I had the chance to experience it myself.   

I have to admit that coming into the week-long training, my critical mind had its doubts about "soul retrieval".  The truth is, I don't feel broken.   

I do, however, feel fragmented at times, and I am beginning to understand this process a little bit better as I experience it with my felt sense.   

From my experience, soul retrieval feels like dropping or letting go of any barriers that you have built that block you from your true essence.  

 

Day 44 - #365MeditationChallenge

I am at a 5-day Shamanic training all week so I will be getting plenty of meditations in and plenty of journeys as I experience a soul retrieval process.   

It was quite a profound day overall.   

Tonight, when I got home, Perry asked me if I would journey him so we did that.  The video is pretty funny... you can see (again) just how "dreamy" journeying can leave you.  Pretty funny stuff. 

 

Day 40 - #365MeditationChallenge

Back to a morning practice today.  

I talk in the video about how sometimes the morning meditation becomes all about the "list" - all of the things you need to get done that day.   

Morning is the "East" time on the Medicine Wheel; the equivalent of Spring.  We travel through each of the directions every day.  In the East, it really is all about possibilities.  There is a certain "buzz" as you look forward and anticipate all that is to come.   

Meditating in the East is very different than meditating in the West (the time that we have been meditating lately).   

Just good to notice this and take it in, ideally, we would work towards two daily meditations; one in the  East and one in the West... however we are taking it one day at a time!

 

Day 39 - #365MeditationChallenge

THE JOY OF LESS.

I have already told you about the year I did a non-consumption challenge and how profoundly life-changing that was for me.  

This past summer, the Waterman and I completed a round of Marie Kondo's "Tidying up" process and eliminated a TON of our stuff.  We streamlined many (but not all) of the rooms in our home, our wardrobes in particular.   

The result has in fact been an experience of more joy.  Less clutter in our home seemingly has resulted in less clutter internally.  

Lately I am realizing that I need to continue with this process.  Continue to simply and reduce my belongings.   

What a wonderful process to be in meditation with!

 

Day 35 - #365MeditationChallenge

A bit of a reflection of the journey so far (we started at the beginning of November with our efforts to meditate every day).  In the past, when we have committed to meditating every day, we noticed that our lives significantly changed around us (for the better).  A lot of stuff just started happening; the "stuck in the muck" feeling was far less of an issue.   

And then... we just stopped.   

So, last November we re-committed ourselves to the process and as we say in the video, (big) shifts are happening for us again; renovations, changes in relationships, changes in health/wellness, changes in awareness, changes at work.  

It is pretty cool actually, especially when you can take a step back and have a look at the bigger picture. 

 

Day 34 - #365MeditationChallenge

Another night meditation and another powerful journey for me.   

The universe has been bringing me quite a few books about elephants lately... (I am a voracious reader and read about 1-2 books per week).  In this journey, I ended up working with one particular elephant, Maura, the matriarch of her tribe and we were accompanied by her daughter Maisy.  She invited me to ride on her back into the dark summer night.  We began by walking West, further into the darkness, when all of a sudden we did a 180 degree turn, and started walking towards the East, just as the first hints of dawn were appearing on the horizon.  It's like she remembered that she could CHOOSE to walk away from darkness and back into the light.  

This feels symbolic and significant given the mental health struggles that have been present for me of late.  It is a powerful reminder (and a visceral one, which is why I love journey so much) that I do get to CHOOSE.  That I do have power in the situation.  That I get to REmember my birthright: Joy, and come back to it again and again and again.   

I am so very grateful to this powerful guide and this profound experience. 

 

Day 33 - #365MeditationChallenge

Today was a chance for more of a group meditation - Chephren (my 8 year old son) joined us and impressed us with how absolutely still and calm he could be!  We sat for 15 minutes and he did not make a peep or a move a muscle.   

He is still a little bit camera shy (although he is a huge YouTube fan and is trying to build my channel at the end of the video), but his insight is accurate.  Meditating helps you to be calm. 

Yes. 

The Waterman and I once read that all we need to do to completely shift the consciousness of our planet is to teach the next generation to meditate.   

I would agree. 

 

Day 32 - #365MeditationChallenge

First day of month #2!!!  We made it one whole month of our daily meditation challenge already.   

In today's video, I tak about intuitively placing myself beside Perry and actually doing Reiki on an injury to his abdomen during our meditation.  I did my Reiki Level 1&2 training quite a few years ago and I do use it as a part of my healing practice on occasion.  I also use it quite a bit on myself and on friends and family members as the situation arises.  In this case, there was no forethought, it just kind of happened.

This is such a good example of just following my intuition.  Not asking questions or getting caught up in my rational mind, but simply showing up in "what wants to be".  It was an interesting experience. 

 

Day 31 - #365MeditationChallenge

Lately I feel like I am walking around with my nervous system on the OUTside of my body.  I am jumpy, jittery and skittish.  I startle easily and everything feels too loud, too bright, too busy, too intense.  Other times, I am noticing that I am having a hard time paying attention.  Hearing other people talk, putting things back where they belong, driving the correct way to my destination. 

All signs of anxiety...and depression.

Over the years, what I have noticed is that my emotional state seems to pendulum between two extremes; let's call one side AVOIDANT and one side ANXIOUS.  For those of you who are familiar with attachment theory, these all also types of attachment.  Somewhere in the middle of these would be SECURE.   

For many, many reasons, as I said above, I tend to move between avoidant and anxious, with brief stop-overs at "secure" sometimes along the way.  Based on these terms, I would have to say that my attachment style then is "anxious-avoidant".

Another thing that I am noticing is that the "avoidant" side of the pendulum feels like "depression" in my body.  It is the part of my that holds the stories of isolation, hopelessness, abandonment and despair.  The "anxious" side of the pendulum is the one I describe above.  The nervous-system-outside-of-my-body thing.  

What I am noticing lately is that I seem to be fluctuating between these two sides of the pendulum at Mach speed lately.  As in, back and forth between the two extremes several times in ONE NIGHT.

It is so uncomfortable.   

And that is what is true for me today. 

And the reason why my 12 minute meditation was one of the toughest ones I've ever sat through.  It was a challenge for me to even keep my eyes closed. 

Something I say in the video, and I believe it's true; even though I'm in tough with my metal/emotional state right now... I have a sneaking suspicion that I would be worse off if I wasn't meditating at all. 

Bam. 

 

Day 30 - #365MeditationChallenge

Affirmations. 

I think this is actually one of the first "spiritual tools" that I ever learned about.  I am not sure who actually gets credit for them, but they came to me via the immitable Louise Hay.  

Ok now for honest hour: I have always thought that affirmations were well, kind of hokey.  I have used them a tiny bit, but my efforts at them have been half-hearted at best.  Not convincing at all.  

Instead of verbal affirmations, I have instead relied upon written affirmations and vision boards.  Both of which I have found to be supremely helpful.  I have a vision board next to my bed and written affirmations in my wallet, my computer and all over my many journals.

But lately, I have been reminded of the power of the spoken word.  As in, it has shown up everywhere; on my facebook feed, in the book I'm reading, in my dreams and in my coaching.  

So, today while in a fairly deep meditation, I somehow found myself speaking outloud the feelings that I most desperately wanted to feel.   

I heard myself saying: "I am safe.  I am safe.  I am safe."  Slowly, methodically, over and over, with tears streaming down my face, my body all tingly and coming fully "on-line" with the pulse of the Universe.  

It felt so damn good that I continued on with other desired "feeling states" and let me tell you by the end of 30 mins I feel a whole lot different than I did going in.  

Who knew? (Don't answer that.  I knew.  I just wasn't putting it into practice.  One year meditation challenge for the WIN - again!)

 

Day 24 - #365MeditationChallenge

You can meditate on a barge or boat

You can meditate while you float

You can meditate outside or in

You can meditate with your kin

You can meditate in your house or CAR

You can meditate anywhere you ARE

 

Ahem.  I was wondering when my first car meditation of this challenge would be (I have been known to eat, work, meditate and even nap in my truck).  Turns out that today was the day.

I spend a LOT of time in the car.  In my "other job" (or what some might call my "big girl job") I work as an educational consultant, travelling all over this fine province to work with kids/school teams/parents who are blind and visually impaired.  

This morning I had the Divine Privilege of giving a two hour talk on the subject and man oh MAN do I ever LOVE public speaking!!!!  BAM!  It is the BEST!   

I know, I know, I'm a special breed.  And you can probably hear/feel the ridiculously bubbly energy that is still coursing through my veins.   

So while this morning I got to do one of my favorite things in the world, now I need to transition to other things: consulting/assessment/report writing and coaching. 

Meditation is the perfect tool to help me with this transition.   

Unfortunately, we as a society aren't quite at the place where I can just pop into a meditation centre (I think we'll get there and we're already on our way), so I was left with meditating in my car.   

Not ideal but it does the trick in a pinch. 

Happy meditating to you: wherever you are! 

 

 

Day 23 - #365MeditationChallenge

The healing effects of last night's coaching session continued throughout the day as I integrated and fully owned the experience.  A big part of this was sharing this with both my mom and the Waterman (he was away for the past three days) and debriefing the experience.   

Afterwards, I went downstairs to meditate and decided to allow for a very  "organic"  experience; kind of like a "check in".  

I wanted to sit without a timer and see how long of a meditation my mind/body naturally flowed into and out of and it turned out to be around 18 minutes.   

It was an interesting meditation and if I had to describe the feeling of it, I would have to say it felt similar to how you feel in your body when you see or hold a new born baby or a puppy.  It felt new, fresh, innocent and hopeful - my heart cracking open just a tiny bit more. 

And so, once again we begin anew.