I did a 20 minute meditation today and I spent the first 15 minutes with that "wall" I spoke about yesterday. As I allude to in the video, I felt like one of those pantomimes putting my hands up and down this invisible wall in my consciousness.
And then, all of a sudden I got a very clear vision of a bridge. The bridge looked as though it had been blown up and I was standing on the edge of it looking down into an abyss.... just nothing. I couldn't see over to the other side because it was all misty.
I get it.
All of a sudden I can see neuron cells in my brain making new pathways... to the unknown. I have literally never been here before. It is a new frontier. It is a new way of thinking and being. I am becoming.
And holy CRAP does the notion of this make me excited.
Lately I have been doing some reading about mental health and chronic conditions and decided that it is very likely that I literally have brain damage/trauma that has resulted in a whole host of undesirable symptoms (depression being first and foremost). I am PASSIONATE about creating new brain circuits that are healthy and NOT of the variety that spin me into this old story of depression.
I have been working on it for years and, although I do feel like I'm making progress overall, it's slow.
It is a daily journey to re-write your programming.
But the image of this bridge is exciting! I feel like it means that, through meditation and the time that I am putting into this very deliberate, intentional box, I am finally going to create something new.
This makes me feel PUMPED.